Here’s how to make your home a sanctuary

To deal with it, consider taking lessons from those who treat victims of more acute traumas, such as children subjected to physical or sexual abuse, or veterans suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. 

Within this area of expertise, often called trauma-informed care, there has emerged a specialty known as trauma-informed design that creates physical spaces that promote safety, well-being and healing. This often involves design choices that make one’s home feel safe, secure, calming and comforting.

If this sounds like something you’d like, you’re not alone.

“Especially after the pandemic, people went a little crazy,” said Susie Vybiral, CEO of Room Redux, a New Braunfels-based nonprofit that transforms the bedrooms of children recovering from trauma. “I’ve heard from a lot of people who say, ‘I’m tired of peopling; I just want to go home.’”

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Here are some ideas of how to make your home a sanctuary. 

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Some of the most obvious changes to make are to one’s surroundings — the bed, tables and chairs.

Your home’s furnishings should be as comfortable as possible, which may mean replacing that saggy old mattress or finding a cozy reading or TV-watching couch.

For a less expensive, not-so-extreme makeover, simply try moving pieces of furniture around to give a room a fresh look and feel. For example, move the couch that now faces the TV so it instead looks out the window toward a more calming scene of trees or lawn.

Another shoestring-budget change is to drape colorful scarves or shawls over a chair or the back of a sofa to give them a new, softer look.

And consider building a “meditation area,” which can be nothing more than a nook furnished with a comfy sofa or beanbag chair. Add a blanket and some pillows, and you’ve got a snug spot where you can hide from the rest of the world and read, work or watch TV.

“This is where you can go to do things you shouldn’t be doing in bed,” Vybiral said. “You need to teach your brain that the bed’s where you sleep. So you don’t want to work or doom scroll on your phone while in bed, because it confuses the brain and makes it harder to fall asleep.”

These days, a lot of people feel they don’t have as much control over their lives as they would like. When San Antonio-based WestEast Design Group was working on building affordable senior housing last year, many of those living in the units said they wished they could paint even one wall a different color.

“Something as simple as that can create a sense of agency and ownership,” said Scott Ackerson, a trained social worker and director of the firm’s social impact studio. “That’s a really powerful feeling.”

It’s beneficial for children, too. When the Scandinavian furniture company Ikea called Asheville, N.C.-based artist Heather Clements to help it develop affordable, beautiful and sustainable furnishings, she suggested, among other ideas, creating a dining room with all different chairs.

“That way everyone gets to choose their own chair, the one that they like,” she said. “Everybody literally has their own seat at the table.”

How you set up your home can also help wrangle the social media monster, which can seriously disrupt self-esteem. This is especially true for children, 95 percent of whom are on at least one online platform, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. 

One strategy is to designate no-go social media spaces in the house. Most experts recommend keeping the bedroom free of phones, tablets and laptops. There’s plenty of research, for example, that the so-called “blue light” from these devices can interfere with sleep.

Equally insomnia-inducing is the jolt of adrenaline one gets reading the political rantings of social media “friends.”

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If you must have your phone or other electronics in the bedroom, learn how to limit notifications so the bleeps and bloops of incoming messages don’t constantly wake you up.

It may seem simple, but keeping a clean, uncluttered house can also help calm the nerves. 

“All of that feeds into how we’re feeling internally as well,” said Jessica Knudsen, CEO and president of Clarity Child Guidance Center, a nonprofit child and adolescent behavioral health facility. “Taking care of the home environment is vital to overall mental wellness. A cluttered home for me is a cluttered mind.”

One of the best ways to relieve stress is by adding more nature to your life. This doesn’t mean you have to climb mountains or hike the Grand Canyon — unless that’s your thing. For most, this can be as simple as hanging photos or pictures depicting nature scenes on the wall.

“It can also be as simple as opening the blinds so you can see outside and let in some sunlight, or opening the windows when it’s not 100 degrees outside to let in fresh air,” Knudsen said.

In fact, being exposed to nature — in real life or a photo — for as little as 40 seconds can change and recharge the brain.

“Viewing nature lowers rumination, which is when you think about the same thing over and over again,” said Bill Browning, founder of New York-based Terrapin Bright Green. Browning is an expert in what’s known as biophilic design, which encourages a connection between interiors and the outdoors. “Hospital studies have shown patients do better when they have a view of nature out the window, even if it’s only a clump of trees or shrubs.”

Even something as simple as the fabric on furniture can be beneficial. Nature motifs, such as leaves, grasses and water, can be more relaxing than solids and geometric patterns. 

Gardening is another simple, physical and inexpensive way to interact with nature. All it takes is some potting soil and a few plants, and you can grow tomatoes, herbs or flowers.

When researchers from WestEast studied the effects of agricultural therapy on trafficked women, for example, they found it was the No. 1 most successful strategy.

“Hands in the dirt, plant something and watch it grow,” said James Andrews, vice president of the firm. “It’s incredibly calming.”